...and God did speak and he did say "There shall be a place minors can achieve alcohol." He spake from the clouds unto mine ears and spoke like so, "Child of mine! Desperate son of the North End! You have been patient in your quest. Take this farcical identification and be 21!"
So I did. And again he spake unto me.
"You have been successful, child. What was your first purchase?"
The label did glow.
"Blue Moon. Nice choice. You can really taste the orange."
"Yea, it's smoother than most beers."
"No, totally. I know what you mean..."
God did look upon me as he spoke. And I looked at him. And he did nod. I did nod at him. And in that moment it was kind of awkward.
"Son! You have done good by the hands of God. I do declare that you shall take this path and drink thine brewski. You shall take the bottle in its entirety to thine own face. And the rest shall follow until you cannot walk straight and have lost control of thine bladder."
I did hear the words of God and obeyed. He turned to me and I raised mine bottle in a toast. And he did say,
"I am SO drunk right now!"
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