Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Penelope?

Things I take for granted on a daily basis:

Public Transportation
Ice Cream
Running Water

Things I take for granted on a bi-daily basis:

Online Porn

Pickup lines that didn't work:

Nice bum. Where do you live?

Are you from Tennessee because I have
relatives who live there. Wouldn't it be
weird if we were related?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because you're the only ten I see.

Did you hear the one about the giant polar bear? Their endangered.